He's dead in the physical sense of the word.

My Papaw Howell died when I was 6.  He was diagnosed with lung cancer and only lived a short while.  The last time I saw him alive was at school.  My dad was taking him to the hospital and he stopped on the playground to say hello to me.  It is a moment that I will always treasure.  I took his death pretty hard and I don’t think he was able to truely rest because of it for a long time.   He worried about me and he didn’t wat to leave because he wanted to watch me grown up.  During this time he watched over me and tried to help me deal with what I couldn’t understand.  I don’t think that I have ever told anyone this part of the story and if I did, I’m sure it was dismissed as my avid imagination.  Shortly after his death, I started seeing him, as a full bodied solid apparition.  I was not scared even at the age of 6, it gave me peace.  I can remember vividly on several occassions seeing him at school.  He would be outside of the window visible from the back of the schoolhouse.  He would generally be there in the vicinity of some maitenance workers, but they never seemed to notice or interact with him.  This was my first experience with the unknown.  Since that time he has always been an active presence in my life.  He always finds ways to let me know that he is around.  I talk to him sometimes and he always finds a way to give me answers or at least things to consider.  Over the years he has come to me in vivid dreams.  I’ve had dreams about other’s who have passed on, but these are completely different.   I sense his presence during important times in my life.   I remember one time in particular I told my mother that I could feel he was soon to visit me.  As soon as I got the words out of my mouth the phone rang, no one was on the other end.  It freaked my mom out, but did not scare me.  I was in my 20’s and had been at this game for quite a long time.  One thing I can say for sure is that my papaw loves me to this day.  He has always been there for me, in happy and sad times.  We have shared a lot together.   Where I come from many people wondered if he had joined church before he died and for a long time, there was a question of where his eternal soul ended up.  I heard the grown ups discuss this.  I found this strange.   I never wondered where he went, I knew.  The man went straight to heaven.  Everytime I see him he is happy and young looking.  He was peaceful, but he wanted to take care of his only granddaughter who was having a hard time.  He died in his 40’s, but he appears young and healthy when I see him.  Even though he was the first spirit I had dealings with, it opened the door to other things.  Some people would see it as a curse, I see it as a blessing.  I’m confident that when its my time to go, he will be there waiting on me.  He has never forsaken me and I’m 32.  I think God for letting me have the relationship with him that I have.  He has made visits to other member’s of my family via dreams, but I’ll leave that for them to tell.  Papaw, this one is for you!

One thought on “He's dead in the physical sense of the word.

  • November 11, 2008 at 7:01 pm

    That is such a beautiful story, I love to hear about things like that. some similiar things have happened to me with my dad. I was 14 when he passed away, but like you stated at times I knew he was there.

Leave a Reply